The week of January 29th was rough. And emotional roller coaster, as you can imagine.
On Monday, I scheduled an appointment with an oncologist. The appointment wouldn’t be until February 9th, almost two weeks later.
After I got the call from the doctor, I messaged my husband and called my parents. I reached out to a couple of other people who had been supporting me on my health and self care journey as well.
There were a lot of emotions and thoughts to process. There was sadness and fear, of course, but there was also a sense of peace and opportunity. And humor.
The commercials that say “you may be entitled to compensation” are for NON-Hodgkins Lymphoma. And I have the Hodgkins kind. The kind that’s NOT entitled to any compensation. Apparently, this kind is a lot less complicated and more straightforward to treat, though, so if it’s got to be cancer, I guess I’ll be grateful it’s this one.
Mindset
Right away, I knew that this is only part of my story. And not the end of it.
Throughout the week, I saw my therapist, talked to my aunt and started to share my situation with some of my trusted network. The support was immediate and overwhelming, especially since I still didn’t really know what this journey was going to look like yet.
Later in the week, I spoke with the nurse navigator assigned to my case, and she was helpful. She clarified that this was an official diagnosis (I had honestly still been hoping that the “indications” the doctor mentioned could be wrong), and that the standard course of treatment that the oncologist recommends involves some kind of chemotherapy.
If you know me, you know that I am kind of a hippie. So while I waited for my appointment, I became obsessed with natural alternatives to healing cancer. I found the website chrisbeatcancer.com and a few others like anticancermom.com and healingstrong.com.
I began to make different choices about what I ate. I was hyper aware that even though I had adopted many healthy habits in my life at this point, ever since I discovered my nightshade sensitivity, I been eating fewer and fewer vegetables. As I learned more about healing cancer naturally, I learned how a whole food, plant-based diet is a huge contributor to optimal health.
Prayer
On Wednesday morning as I showered, I considered the standard picture that comes to mind along with the mention of cancer. You know the one. You probably pictured it when I told you I had a cancer diagnosis. The bald person, frail and pale under a blanket hooked up to a machine in a hospital. We know this picture because we’ve seen it on television and in movies. Maybe we’ve had loved ones of our own on that path. As I thought about this picture, it occurred to me that it wasn’t mine. It didn’t have to be.
As strange as it sounds, I felt connected to the Holy Spirit as I received a different picture.
I understood that my path was not going to take me down a road of weakness and sickness. My path will be one of vibrant and robust health. I pictured myself healthier than I’ve ever been. And I thought about how shocked others would be as they learned I had cancer.
Choice
While I waited, I made some choices.
I chose to see my body as my protector.
I chose to work with my cancer instead of fighting it.
I chose to be open to the opportunities and lessons that cancer has to teach me.
I chose to reach out for support and actively share ways people could help if they felt the need to. I began to put together a reading list, a supply list/wish list on Amazon and make specific requests of people who may want to support me via my business.
As I began to do this, something interesting happened. My friends and family thanked me. They appreciated having options. They actually started sending me items from my list. And I felt so supported, loved, humbled and grateful.
I began to realize that my healing journey was going to be much bigger than myself.
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