Over the last four months, I’ve explored many different ways of telling people that I have cancer.
I never kept it a secret. From week one, I was sharing with friends, family and even my business networking groups. It got easier to say out loud. It became a frame of reference for some of the choices I was making in life and work. I knew that I didn’t want to share on social right away. I also knew it wouldn’t do me any good to keep it all to myself.
I was lost. Sharing the weight of it helped me find my way.
I’m on a path now that I’m comfortable with. I feel physically healthier than I have in a long time (and I thought I was pretty healthy before). Emotionally, though, this past week has been a lot. The novelty has worn off, and I’ve been feeling the weight of it again in a new way.
I felt ready to handle the inquiries that I knew would come with sharing my diagnosis on Facebook. I have these posts to share if you want to know what’s been happening, how I’ve been coping and some of the thoughts around my treatment path. If you’re new here, thanks for caring and reading this. If we haven’t connected in awhile, no hard feelings. Life happens. I do enjoy connecting and reconnecting with people. though. That has always filled my cup, so please reach out if you want to. At the same time, understand if I don’t respond right away or have the capacity for lengthy conversations or tons of in-person hangouts. The invitation means a lot, so know that I appreciate that if you do it.
I had mixed feelings about making a cancer post on Facebook. I’m not desperate for attention, and social media always has a bit of that “look at me” vibe to it that occasionally makes my skin crawl. Because I have to engage online for my business, my intention is always to show up as authentically as possible, especially with personal connections, so I didn’t want to say nothing for too long about it either.
I didn’t make the post public because I still want to keep my public persona focused on all the good in my world and the ways I can serve others. Serving helps.
I’m still functioning very well, and at the same time, it’s not something I’m going out of my way to keep hidden. I just don’t need my personal health inside my professional business. When I’m on in my business, I can be Sara the emcee and coach instead of Sara with the cancer. That’s good for me.
The timing of sharing seemed right, too, because I was feeling a little bit down and I know that prayers and good vibes work. I’ve felt them since I put up the post yesterday, just as I felt them at the beginning of all of this.
I don’t know if I handled it perfectly. I’m finding my way.
On Tuesday, as I was leaving karate class, someone asked how I was doing and I chose to be honest. Being honest with myself and with others is part of my healing. It’s how we can connect with each other for real, which we could all use more of in this increasingly lonely world. My son asked me why I stayed to talk so long and I told him exactly this. That we all need more practice being with each other when the reply to, “How are you?” is something other than, “Fine.” And occasionally being brave enough to give an answer other than, “Fine,” ourselves.
All of the comments and messages of support and love have been exactly what I needed this week, and I’m so glad it’s out in the open now. If you want to reach out to me directly, please do. If you want suggestions on how you can help above and beyond thoughts, prayers and good vibes, here they are.
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