As 2020 comes to a close, I think we can all agree it didn’t turn out quite the way we imagined it would a year ago. As it began, I was gaining momentum in my business, enjoying my friends and my family and all sorts of various activities, fundraisers, vacations, school events, etc. My kids were all really enjoying school, karate and their friends. We took a trip to Florida in January to celebrate my mom’s 70th birthday with the whole family. I expected it to be a pretty incredible year.
And then the world was brought to its knees by fear of a virus. Schools shut down. People stayed home. We learned too much about the word “essential.”
We slowed down and tried to figure out what was going on. We fought with our friends. We formed new relationships. We reassessed our current relationships. We distanced. We isolated. We lost each other. We appreciated each other on a deeper level. Some of us found ourselves. Some lost more than others. Some of us came out stronger. Others more fragile than ever.
Through it all, I’ve done my best. I showed up. I worked hard. I grew. I cried. I exercised. I took long walks. I climbed to new heights of rage. I wondered what it all meant. I wondered if it was even worth it to keep showing up at all. I decided that it is.
Looking ahead to 2021, I’m sitting with the thought that none of us are guaranteed anything in this life. Not even tomorrow. Why me? Why not me? It is a total MIRACLE that we are even HERE.
“Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.” James 4:14
While this can seem a little dark, that no matter what happens, we will end, I am choosing to find it inspiring. If all I have is what I have right now, if all I am is who I am today, then it’s my responsibility to do my very best for the ones who get to see tomorrow. And if I do find myself waking into another day, then I can appreciate how I set my course and build on. I can take advantage of the opportunity to be more than I was yesterday.
I can choose to live in fear, or I can choose to embrace what life has given me and make something beautiful. So I have chosen to use 2020 to lean into my creativity and embrace more of my personal artistic expression. I developed Martial Arts & Crafts and started a mediocre podcast. I have deeply appreciated every single hug I’ve given and received this year. I’ve been authentic to myself, and I’ve trusted God when it felt impossible (and I have asked for strength to trust when it was impossible). I’ve grieved. I’ve resisted. I’ve worshiped. I’ve been challenged, and I’ve kept learning. And I plan to keep showing up like this and stronger in 2021.
This will pass. We will find each other again. Human connection is essential. Thank you for trusting me to care for your families. Thank you for stepping into your power and owning your energy, your beliefs, your choices. Because we always have a choice. We can choose fear. Or we can choose love.
I intend to keep choosing love.
Happy New Year, friends.