Confidence vs Fear
Photo credit: Abigail Schaefer Photography
Three Keys to Confidence on Stage
Imposter syndrome is a thing that has only recently come into the collective awareness. I haven't met anyone yet who has never struggled with feeling like a complete and total fraud. If you're unfamiliar with this phenomenon, "imposter syndrome" is the conscious or unconscious belief that no matter how much you produce or achieve, you're not qualified or worthy of your current position or role, not good enough to get promoted, receive certain accolades or take on more important responsibilities. There's a nagging fear that you'll be "found out" or revealed as an "imposter" somehow, which prevents you from tackling certain projects or pursuing new or exciting opportunities.
I'm certainly no stranger to struggling with imposter syndrome. In fact, as I'm typing this right now, I'm positive that I don't know enough about speaking, performing and emceeing to position myself as an authority on the subject, and yet, here I am, doing it anyway. What can I say, I practice what I preach!
That's the first step to beating imposter syndrome. Take action. You've already said yes to the responsibility of emceeing and hosting your important event, so let's start with that.
When I was hired for my first gig, I went online and typed something like, "how to emcee," into my search engine of choice. Feel free to do that, too. Ask ChatGPT or your favorite AI companion. You'll get some pretty basic answers that don't necessarily address the mindset and energetic components of the job. You'll have to add your own flavor. Even this book can't do it all for you. It takes a certain level of commitment to step out with confidence and do the job to your highest level possible.
Remember, it's not about you. And it's all about you.
You need to lead from the stage, and you need to start with yourself. Building your confidence is important because people don't trust people who don't trust themselves. Confidence is the outward expression of an internal self-trust.
There are three keys to confidence, and they are pretty simple. I learned them when I heard my sons' karate instructors teach them to the little kids' classes. They're easy to remember and deeper than they seem at first glance.
The three keys to confidence are:
1. Practice.
2. Practice.
3. Practice.
Allow me to elaborate. The more you practice, the better your skills get and the more you can trust yourself not to mess up under pressure.
Practice Learning
The first *practice* is all about learning. If this is the first event you're emceeing, you're going to be nervous. And you're going to screw up. It's not going to be perfect. Practice learning. Get the basics down. Learn where to position the microphone so that you're not too quiet or too loud. Don't walk in front of the speakers while your mic is hot. Follow the script. Watch out for filler words like, "um," "like," "kind of," "you know," "now," "right?" and "so." Practice stage movements and hand gestures. Get a feel for expressing yourself in different spaces. Practice slowing down for gravitas or emphasis and speeding up your pace for energy and excitement. Go down the list that you got from your internet search or AI prompt. Practice learning. Practice the basics. Notice what works. Notice what sucks.
Practice Repetition
The second *practice* is about repetition. If you can't repeat what you've learned, have you really learned it? Notice where other speakers hold their microphones. Notice filler words. Get an accountability buddy and speak to each other for varying lengths of time and call each other out when you hear your personal default filler words. Make it fun, get a buzzer or gamify it. Practice what to do with your hands. Practice in front of a mirror. Practice in the park. Practice remembering what the script said without looking at it. Practice people's names. Make sure you're pronouncing them correctly and repeat them, and then repeat them again.
Practice Under Pressure
The final *practice* is about pressure. Add pressure to your practice. Find a way to turn it upside down or do it backwards. Stand on your head. Start at the end. Change the timing. Practice in front of your most judgmental family member or coworker. Practice live on social media. Practice under pressure. That's when you know that you know that you know. When you finally get to the pressure of the real event, you'll be ready for anything.
Confidence is about practice, learning, repetition and pressure. It's also about trusting that you know more than you think you know. Especially if you feel like an imposter sometimes. You do know more than you think you know. You're stronger than you think you are. And the great thing about performing in front of an audience is that the audience generally has no clue how everything is *really* supposed to go, so even if you mess up, the odds are pretty good that no one will even notice.
One final piece of the confidence puzzle is feedback. If you're not getting direct feedback from another person, it's important to give feedback to yourself. After your practice session or after the event itself, take five minutes to ask yourself two questions and honestly answer them:
*What did I like about my performance?*
and...
*If I had it to do all over again, what would I do differently?*
Be real with yourself, and work on that second thing the next time you practice or perform. This is how you grow and build confidence in yourself. Not by dwelling on all the ways you suck at emceeing, but by focusing on what you liked and did well and choosing one thing to change or improve for next time. Each time you practice or perform, use these questions, and you will surprise yourself with how quickly you get to the next level... and the next one and the one after that.
Stage Presence
Owning the stage and making an average event awesome requires attention. Your tone, word choice and body language could be the difference between an enraptured audience and a lost one. I heard some attendees at a recent conference express concern that they felt "yelled at" when the emcee became frustrated by an audience who wouldn't settle down after a break and sharpened his tone of voice. Pay attention to your emotions and keep them under control. The microphone amplifies everything.
As for body language, there's a sweet spot between hyper and monotonous. You need to know what to do with your hands. Don't hide them in your pockets or behind your back. Use enough gestures so that you don't look like a robot, and not so many that you resemble a Muppet. Make eye contact with people if you can see them through the stage lights. Smile when you speak. Dance when there's music. Encourage applause.
When you move around the stage, make it purposeful. Don't wander. Walk to a spot, plant your feet and stay there for a few sentences before moving again. One of the main differences between professional speakers and emcees is the writing and preparation of a formal talk. When you're working on your keynote speech, movement can be practiced and rehearsed. As an emcee, you're mostly ad-libbing, and when speakers are new or nervous, they tend to pace. They tend to meander because standing still can feel vulnerable and scary. However, when you stay present with both feet firmly in place, you appear more confident and authoritative. You are seen as trustworthy and in control.
When I was learning to teach karate, new instructors were always advised to be aware of the "golden birdcage," which is the middle area in the front of a class where they feel most comfortable. They can see everyone, and everyone can see them. Early in their training, instructors spend a lot of time pacing in front of the room in that golden birdcage.
The stage itself can become the golden birdcage in the sense that up front and center or behind a podium is often where the host or emcee feels most comfortable. In my experience, the stage is the best place to be when making important announcements and introducing speakers. By now, though, I hope you know that emceeing is much more than these two things.
Confidence comes when your purpose becomes bigger than your fear.
Ready to take your event hosting skills to the next level?
This article features information from my book, Welcome to the Stage: The 360° Approach to Hosting Events Like a Pro NOW AVAILABLE! If you enjoyed it, you'll love the comprehensive guidance, practical strategies and insider techniques I share in the full book.
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