If I asked you to talk about your body image, what emotions would come up?
Before you consider your answer, read the question again.
Bodies are interesting and amazing things. They’re these clusters of atoms and cells and solid and liquid matter. If you look at them with pure objectivity, they’re fascinating marvels of science, evolution and/or intelligent design. The way all its systems work together for the health of the whole is mind blowing. Experts are still discovering new things about how it works all the time. The complexity of the body’s abilities is staggering.
But back to the question. When I invite conversation about individual bodies, it suddenly becomes very personal.
I posted this question on Facebook last week: “If I asked you to talk about your body image, what emotions come up?” Notice I asked about emotions. I didn’t ask for thoughts or stories about body image at all, if you read the question closely. I was curious about our emotions when it comes to the topic of body image. And people responded, answering my question with vulnerability and candor. My friends bared their souls. And many of them broke my heart.
I felt humility and gratitude.
I also considered my own response. If you asked me to talk about my body image, emotions like pride and love and awe would come up as I think about some of the stories I could tell about my journey to get to this place of peace and acceptance of my physical form.
What are some of the emotions that came up for others? Maybe something on this list comes up for you. Here’s what they said, in alphabetical order:
Anger
Disappointment
Frustration (this one came up several times)
Hate
Hell
Pain
Resentment
Sadness
Shame
Unhappy
Notice what you’re feeling about this list of words and how it might relate to your own thoughts about your body image. And let’s go back to the original question again.
If I ask you to talk about your body image, what emotions come up?
Your initial reaction to this question about body image was probably to tell yourself stories about what you like and don’t like about your body and why. Your answer might be to talk about your body image itself. Maybe you felt excited or burdened or heavy or ashamed or proud or frustrated or something else, but your mind immediately found that body part that you’re struggling to love and began to rattle off all the things that you’ve wanted or tried to change about it. Maybe your thoughts turned to a body that’s not your own. Maybe you have already stopped paying any attention to this because it’s too uncomfortable or you feel like it’s another reminder of your physical flaws or failures and you’ve had quite enough reminders like that already, thank you very much.
Of course, if you’ve been with me for any length of time, you know that I am not at all about reminding you of your flaws or failures. If you’ve been following along, you know it’s the opposite, in fact. I consider it my mission to help you realize how amazing and beautiful you really are, scars and all.
A few comments included words like these: acceptance, focus on being healthy, working on it, happy to be alive, strong. These words gave me hope. Hope that you can start to believe that your body is just as valuable as your beautiful heart and soul, even if you’re focused on feeling frustrated with things as they are right now. Even behind the more uncomfortable and difficult emotions that came up, I see some incredible people really working to treat themselves with love and compassion. I want to invite you to see this, too.
There was a time, a long time ago for some of us, when we didn’t really think much about this thing called “body image” at all. When you were a kid, did you care about the cut of your shorts or how they made your legs look? Or was all that mattered whether or not they had pockets to put your rocks in?
If you could go back to that little one who felt proud of their body for making it all the way to the other side of the monkey bars without letting go once or climbing up that really high hill, how would you feel? Would you feel happy? Energized? Like a superhero? A model? A body builder?
There might even be times in your present life when you feel that way, too. Even one fleeting moment of these feelings can be enough to give you hope that you won’t always have to struggle with the way you see yourself or attach your identity to how you think other people see you. What would you do if you could have more of those moments?
I still struggle with my body image, sometimes, too, even though I mostly feel proud and strong and happy with myself. I also have confidence in who I am beyond my body. This allows me to give myself grace when I get hard on myself. And I do. But this confidence allows me to see and take pride in my physical qualities and the other stuff. And when I compare myself, I try not to compare what I see in the mirror to what someone else presents on social media or out in the world. I compare myself to who I was and who I want to be, which is much more effective.
I get to choose how I see myself. And so do you. You get to choose how you appreciate and care for your body. You get to choose whether to hold your own hand through the harder times or to slap it away. How will you choose differently today than you have in the past? Choose one thing. One small change in your perspective. One way of seeing one single aspect of yourself, your evolving body and the light from your soul shining through.
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