Humans are notorious for blowing things out of proportion. The good news is that so far, the world has never ended. I think that most of us have spoken the phrase, “It’s the end of the world” in response to some tragedy or another more than once over the course of our lives and meant it. Saying that something is the end of the world emphasizes its importance and expresses our fears or doubts that things will work out in our favor. 

When comforting others, you may offer assurance that whatever they may be going through is definitely NOT the end of the world, which is not always a welcomed or effective approach to someone who genuinely feels as though they are experiencing the end of the world in their world.

You have probably had moments in your life when you felt that your world was ending. Maybe you’ve actually experienced Book of Revelation level disasters or events, which unfortunately do happen across the globe. Plague. Famine. Genocide. But if you’re a fairly average American like me, your tragedies and traumas have come in at a more personal level. Even though none of these global or personal horrors have yet to end the world, things like deaths, divorces or diagnoses can hit you like a world-ending catastrophe. 

Fears about the world ending, both literally and figuratively, are contributing to massive waves of anxiety in people today, especially young people trying to figure out their futures. On the global scale, there are natural disasters, strange phenomena, wars, corruption and all the rest. On the individual scale, you may have a big decision to make or maybe you’re feeling hurt or abandoned or angry about something in your life that didn’t turn out the way you expected it would. You may be feeling this burden yourself, or maybe someone you love is struggling. But a changing world is different than an ending one.

I’ve talked with teenagers about topics like high school, friendships, jobs, roommates, parents, dating, college and their various subcategories. What I’ve noticed coming up for them over and over is acute anxiety or fear that the actions they’ve taken or the choices they’ve made (or are about to make) might be “wrong” or lead to an end of their world. They truly feel that it could be the end of the world for them to have chosen the wrong college or career. That the relationship that ended was the end of the world because love is a lie. That a single mistake could cost them everything.

The feelings here are very real. It would be foolish to dismiss these very real feelings by telling the person feeling them that, “It’s not the end of the world.” Instead, honor the emotions at stake. While the situation or experience might not be THE end of THE world, it is, in fact, AN end to THEIR world. It ends something about the world they have known to this point, and the fear of an unknown future can be massive and debilitating. 

If you have a loved one who is struggling with facing “the end of the world” in their life, I want to offer you an approach that can help them step out of their fear and into their strength toward hope. If you are struggling, I invite you to support yourself in a similar way.

The first step is to ask the following question, and really feel into the answer. If you’ve been exposed to The Work of Byron Katie, this question may sound familiar. When something feels like the end of the world, I want you to ask, “Is that really true?” Is it really the end of the world?

For the more personal struggles, of course, the answer will be no. Obviously my own drama is not going to cause the destruction of the entire world. Most things that come up don’t have much to do with total global annihilation. The intention behind genuinely asking this question is to zoom out to a wider perspective. To come out of the emotion for a moment and look at the factual data involved in the situation or experience. To realize that while we may think that something has far reaching consequences, whatever does reach far usually doesn’t pack the same punch as it does nearby. If you drop a stone into the center of a calm pond, the gentle laps at the shoreline hardly resemble the initial chaotic splash.

If the truth is that yes, it is really the end of the world, I might ask you what you know that I don’t. A follow up question might be, “What kind of end do you want?” If you’re legitimately experiencing the death throes of earth, it’s probably not like the movies where you’re the accidental hero and the only one who can stop it and save the day. You may not get to choose whether or not the world ends or when, but you do get to choose how you go out. You can go out connected and at peace or alone and terrified. In a perfect end of the world scenario, which would you prefer?

The best way I’ve learned to support someone through anxiety is to get curious. Ask questions instead of buying into an exaggerated story and coddling the fear. To diffuse the fear, you have to draw it closer and get genuinely curious about where it’s coming from. Fear is your mind attempting to protect you from something. So if you’re afraid of the end of the world, why? If you’re afraid of an end to your world, why?

If you choose the wrong college, will that really be the end of the world? What are you afraid will happen if you end up in the “wrong” place? What does “wrong place” even mean? Most of us make choices from a desire to avoid pain. What if you made choices from the desire to experience joy, love, peace or freedom instead? If things go “wrong,” you might see opportunities instead of obliteration. You might feel excited to face an unknown future instead of feeling crushed by not knowing. You have more control than you think you do when it comes to the end of the world. You can check the exaggerated stories that your fear is telling you against reality with genuine curiosity. You’ll see that it’s not the end of the world without anyone else needing to tell you.

If this is a challenge for you, connect with me, and I will show you how to get clear of your fear and embrace the end of the world with enthusiasm. Start with a 15-minute laser coaching session to learn more about what it would look like for us to work together.