Juice
This week was rough.
Mom was in the hospital. It was pretty serious. She’s still recovering. My dad and sister have been there. I can’t be. All I could do was worry and work and pray and try to let go of what I couldn’t control so I could protect my energy. I wasn’t too great at that last part.
A couple weeks ago, I decided I needed to upgrade my juicer.
When I was first diagnosed with cancer, a lovely human gifted me a brand new juicer. Many people who want to heal something big start with juicing. There is tons of research around the benefits of this, which I won’t go into here, so at the beginning of everything, I had every intention of sustaining a regular juicing practice.
I had no idea what I was doing.
The juicer I received was way better than my blender at making juice, and it was also the kind of juicer that requires significant food preparation, constant feeding and a decent amount of effort to clean up after. Juicing half a bag of organic carrots from Costco would take about an hour and a half of me standing in the kitchen.
And I did it. Not every day. Not even consistently week to week. Enough that I know that carrot juice is better with a little bit of something else in it as long as it’s not too much ginger.
Lately, the thought of getting out the juicer and making juice has been way, way too much. And after more than two years of caring for myself with cancer, I learned more about the different kinds of juicers and how some of them are designed to be more convenient for the tired and overwhelmed individual. Many of the folks in the online natural cancer healing forums sang the praises of a specific model for their daily use.
I clicked some ads. I shopped around. I browsed Amazon and even added one to my wish list.
As I’ve been navigating through the ebbs and flows of supporting my body, I began to revisit the idea of adding juicing into my routine. Which meant an upgrade from the original juicer that made me tired just thinking about pulling it out of the cupboard.
I knew I wouldn’t be able to justify the high end brand recommended online by all the cancer people, so I poked around for something decent at a more realistic price point. I found one on Marketplace and sent a message to the seller.
I was all set to pick it up a couple weeks ago, arranged a time and day, stopped at the ATM after work and messaged again to get the address.
No response.
Drove around for a while. Messaged again. Still no answer.
Got home. Distracted myself with other things. Seller marked the item as sold without a further word to me.
I felt disappointed, and at the same time, I also got the impression that it was for the best. In fact, as I continued to browse Amazon and Marketplace for other juicers, I got the distinct intuitive nudge that I would be given the juicer I needed.
I reached out to another seller last weekend. A brand new juicer for half the price of the other one. A lower end slow masticating juicer that promised to be more along the lines of what I was looking for. A place to start. I knew I could always upgrade later.
The same day, I thought, “What the hell?” and I put a post on my Facebook asking if anyone I knew had a slow masticating juicer lying around that needed a new home. Within a few hours, someone did indeed offer me their slow juicer.
Guess which one? That’s right, the highly recommended high end model that I’d been hearing about for the last two years. Mind. Blown.
Since they weren’t local, I offered to pay for shipping. Their response? No charge.
Mind. Blown. Again.
I said, “No rush.”
They responded, “It will be there Friday.”
This isn’t a story about a juicer.
This is a story about intuition, self trust, asking, receiving and universal love and provision.
The same day I was offered this incredible gift, I learned that my mother, who had just arrived with my dad in Minnesota to visit my sister and her family, had gone to the ER and was admitted to the hospital.
Life is full of surprises. Laughter. Tears. Worry. Gratitude. Love. Generosity. Struggle. Beauty.
And this week, I held all of it and more.
And what I’m sitting with today, my day for me, for healing, is that no matter what happens, God and the universe is holding me. My people are lifting me up with love and light as I receive and reflect it right back out to them.
I helped a lot of people this week. And a lot of people helped me.
That doesn’t mean everything is groovy.
A lot of things are still really, really heavy.
And I’m in awe. I’m feeling deep appreciation for all of it. The darkness and the light. My racing heart and my deep breaths. My creativity. My friends. My family. The people I barely know who show up in love because it’s who they are.
If you’re interested in supporting my healing, you can donate through the GoFundMe below or visit saradeacon.com/support for other options.