One of the main themes that comes up in my conversations with clients, colleagues and other connections is about how most of our struggles are the result of unspoken expectations being unmet.

You might say to yourself, "Self, that's ridiculous. If I don't speak my expectations, why is it such a problem when my expectations aren't met?"

It's because expectations still exist whether you say them out loud or not.

This is why it's really important to understand what you expect out of life. Sometimes, we don't even express our own expectations to ourselves, which means we really don't understand why we get so bent out of shape about something that seems like nothing.

I want to invite you this week to evaluate your feelings through the lens of your expectations. If you're feeling upset, frustrated, disappointed, angry or some other way that triggers you, ask yourself, "What did I expect?"

Be mindful of your tone when you ask yourself this, too. It's a real question, not a way to beat yourself up even more. What did you expect, really? How could you voice expectations like this in the future so they are more likely to be met?