Inertia is a physics term. An object in motion tends to stay in motion. An object at rest tends to stay at rest. 

Most of us are familiar enough with the first part that we consider it often. Every time you apply the brakes when you drive, for example. A downhill run. Block a goal or catch a ball. The object in motion will stay in motion until an outside force acts on it.

Teenagers are inertia experts. And by that I mean the “inert” part. I look at my teenage son often through the lens of an “object at rest.” 

I wonder if he would ever go to bed if I didn’t tell him to go to bed. I wonder if he would ever wake up if I didn’t cheerfully clamor around his bedroom in the morning. Would he ever get dressed or leave the house if I didn’t tell him he had to?

This is me, too. And you. Most of us wouldn’t do half the things we do in a given day if we weren’t being acted upon by an outside force like our family, a boss, a commitment, an invitation, an obligation. This is why it’s difficult to create new habits, even habits that we know would do us good.

I had a conversation with my teenage son the other night about this. I reminded him that once we actually do the thing we don’t want to do, it ends up being a great time or at least a valuable opportunity for growth or learning. That doesn’t change the fact that it’s tough to get started without some external force to set us into motion.

When I become the nagging parent, I become the force. When a friend extends an invitation, they become the force. A meticulously curated calendar of appointments, goals and tasks becomes the force. And even with all of these outside forces acting upon us, or on our teenagers, it can still be tempting to create an excuse and avoid the invitation, opportunity or obligation. It’s tempting to stay at rest. It’s science. It’s physics.

It’s easy to opt out of so many things these days and stay at rest, stay isolated. We place an online order and call it shopping. We play video games online and call it a social life. We watch video tutorials or other people’s experiences and subconsciously adopt them as our own.

We have done all these things to make space in our lives for what we really want to do. For many of us, though, instead of doing what we really want to do, we find ourselves mindlessly scrolling, watching and consuming more of the same. We remain at rest.

Building successful habits doesn’t happen overnight. The same excuses we make to avoid starting something new are the same excuses we use to stop doing things we’ve started. It’s almost as easy to stop the inertia of motion as it is to avoid starting altogether. This is as true for me as it is for my teenager.

Our family has been involved with karate for many years. We have been intentional since we started to keep our commitment to it. There was one winter night my son received a private lesson instead of his group class because the weather was so bad he was the only one who showed up. This was one of the pivotal moments on his journey to Black Belt. We didn’t really feel like going out in the freezing temperatures, snow and ice that night, but we got there, and it made an impact. There have been hundreds of similar moments when it would have been easier for me or for the kids to stay at home or not to show up, like when all our classes were virtual. Then when they returned in person. I still don’t always go to class, and I still occasionally choose other priorities. I do know that I’m always glad I went when I force myself to go.

How do you overcome inertia? Whether for yourself or as the force bumping up against a teenage iron will, it’s important to notice resistance and put a few things in place to support yourself through it and set yourself in motion.

• Commitment

• Consciousness

• Community

Commitment:

Keep your promises to yourself. This builds trust and helps you grow in your confidence. When you decide that you want to change something about how you’re moving through life (or not), you need to commit to it. Pay the enrollment fees, invest in the membership or subscription, put the class schedule on your calendar. Get some skin in the game, and you’ll be more likely to follow through.

Consciousness:

If you wait for the “right time” to get started, you’ll never move. There is no right time. The right time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, the second right time is now. If you don’t take intentional action to get where you want to be in five years, you’ll be in the same place five years from now, waiting to start. If you start now, you’ll be five years ahead. The years will pass either way. Be intentional and plan ahead. Psych yourself up to take that first step. And the next. And the next until it becomes easier to take the next and the next and the next.

Community:

Rally the troops! We are not meant to do life in isolation. You’re not made to go it alone, as easy as it is to do so these days. Invite others along on your journey. There are people out there who want to do the same thing as you do. There are other people who might not be on the same path, but who love you and will support you and cheer you on toward your goals. You have friends and family members on your team. Find those people who can remind you of your commitment to yourself and hold you accountable with love.

Our karate experience is a great example of this. It’s a financial investment for four family members to take all of the karate classes we take (commitment). We have our weekly schedule and stick to it with rare exceptions (consciousness). By this point, it’s a given that we will be in our classes, seeing our friends and training with the instructors who have invested in our growth and challenged us to perform our best (community).

If you want to exercise, make a commitment. Download a workout app or join a gym (commitment). Put your workout clothes on first thing in the morning or bring your gym bag with you to work so you can workout on your way home (consciousness). Hire a coach or personal trainer or invite a friend to be your gym buddy or accountability partner (community).

There might be days you don’t feel like going to the gym or doing whatever it is you say you want to do, but if you set yourself up for success in this way, the effort it takes to get out of it becomes more trouble than just showing up and getting it done.

Is there something in your life that you’ve been making excuses to avoid? Are your excuses valid? Are they really? Or are they feeding inertia and holding you back from your next level of awesome? Have you tried one, two or all three of the tips I mentioned here? What kind of force works best to set you or your teenager in motion? For some ideas specific to your situation, contact me.